11 Things Egyptians Need to Get Over

When something starts to become trendy it usually ends up having a shelf life of over a year before the world gets bored with it and begins asking 'what were we thinking?' However, when a trend hits Egypt, all too often it remains for years and sometimes decades before we finally collectively get over it.

With that in mind, here are the top examples of things Egyptian need to fast-track getting over.

The Selfie Stick

Selfies as a whole are becoming lame, but even worse is the disturbing trend of using a Selfie Stick. Where once Egyptians were just content taking their own picture, now the obsessions seems to be to capture as many people as possible into one photo à la Ellen Degeneres' notorious Oscar Selfie. What makes this trend so annoying is the fact that it completely stops a dance floor or blocks access to the bar. The next time you see someone with a Selfie Stick, do us a favour and break it over their heads and send the photo to #OneLessSelfieStick.

Fireworks

Okay, we get fire in the sky. This trend was once impressive thousands of years ago when the Chinese invented it, but since January 25 not a day goes by without hearing them go off everywhere in Cairo. Weddings, restaurant openings, soboo3s, sitting in traffic, everything these days seems to call for explosions in the sky. Even more baffling is the fact that some people fire them off during the day. You can't see it, but you sure as hell can mistake it as a gunshot or an explosion. Thanks jackasses.

Minimum Charge

This is the trend that never seems to want to die. Bar food and drinks are already overpriced, but forcing people to pay the minimum is simply insulting. However, the blame should be placed directly on us, because the only reason it still exists is because we still pay it, instead of finding somewhere else to go. We are yet to go somewhere where the minimum seemed worth it, so you can call business owners jerks, but we the people are the idiots for keeping them in business.

Pink Floyd/Scorpions

We must admit that there was a time when praise for these acts was warranted. However, that was 20 years ago, when Pink Floyd were a still band, and not just David Gilmour attempting to remain in light. If he really was the key to Pink Floyd's success then his solo career would have taken off. Guitar solo does not a song make. As for the Scorpions, that should ended when they charged 300 EGP to see their atrocious acoustic set.

Caborya Haircut

This became a trend in 1990 with the release of the film Caborya. That was literally 24 years ago, it is time to move on. We know that football players keep bringing back this trend, but we are yet to find any evidence to suggest that this haircut makes them more aerodynamic and thus a better player. It's time to commit: either shave your head or grow your hair, having it both ways isn't working anymore.

Picture Quotes on Instagram

Yes, it is true there are a lot of inspiring people in history who have memorable quotes. If we want to learn more about these people and what they had to say we can search them on the internet. All too often people post some Bruce Lee or Marilyn Monroe quote as if the world has no idea who they are. This trend needs to stop, and if you are insistent of keeping it alive, at the very least use a profound quote from a person that no one knows.

Zafaa

We are a population of 90 million, which means every day more than one person in this country is getting married. You and your partner aren't special, and holding up traffic while annoyingly honking your horns does nothing more than have others wish ill on the new couple instead of congratulating them. For a country that is so paranoid of the evil eye, you would have thought this trend would have died, but alas it hasn't.

Playing music on your phone

There is no song in music history that deserves to be heard on phone speakers. Doesn't matter how smart your phone is, it still sounds like shit. Next time you see someone who can't live without showing you that song on their phone, we ask that you take it from them do us all a favour throw it in #DaNile.

Sushi

Over 90% of all sushi in Egypt is terrible and 100% of all sushi in Egypt is overpriced. What business does a restaurant promising a taste of Italy or France have in giving you the Japanese option? We shouldn't be able to order sushi at a bar or a nightclub. It is never good and likely to have you curled up in the fetus position on the dancefloor.

Street Advertising

We get that advertising is important, but what drives us mental is when a thousand of the same poster can be seen one after in a specific area, as opposed to spreading them out across the country. The result is a nation suffering from adnausea.

Top Ten Lists 

Clearly we here at CairoScene share this problem. We would love to get over lists, but the reality is too many of you choose to click them. At this point, any list that could exist has been created, so now the question becomes how long can we keep recycling the same list items under different headlines before Egyptians and the internet gets over it.